A note to care

Today I learned what it was like to not stress. FINALLY.

Today I saw how my choices affect others.

Today I had a friend be concerned about me – whether or not they wanted me to see it – and I appreciated it.

Today I got sleep without nightmares.

Today I found a safe haven inside my mind, and it’s hard to reach, but that place I found was really nice. It wasn’t even sleep because I knew what was going on around me. I was closing my eyes, but it was like shutting off my main conscience and living in my heart for a bit.

Today I want everyone to know I love them. I might not show it, and I might not say it but if you are in my life – there’s gotta be a reason, and I don’t know where I’d be if I never met you. Thank you.

Today I would like to say – Amen to the Lord because he has got me here safely and he has made sure of that, and now I am a happy girl.

*Supergirl*

The end

OMG = “Oh – Em – Gee” say it with me. Where on earth has my year gone? I have a total of 7 days of school left. Counting weekends & stuff, its 13 days. It seems like yesterday I was just walking in to school on my first day as a freshman scared out of my wits. Now I’m exiting as a sophmore, entering a summer of two juniors classes then on to be a Senior with the graduating class of 2009! Gah – now summer! What am I going to do with myself you might ask? Well….  

I haven’t said anything yet, and I wanted to wait until mom posted about it so that it would be ok for me to write about it. I have decided to graduate early, and get out of highschool. I want a head start into college, and I want out of the drama. I know that public school is one thing that some people just have to experience, and it’s something that some never get to. Well I have had a dose of public, private and homeschool – Now gimme college. I know – I’m 16, its a big step. But I can’t wait. It’s a big deal to me, and I’m hapy about it.  I talked to a counselor, got all my info, talked to the parentals, and now not only am I signed up, and paid into online summer courses, I have already finished orientation!

So – me – this girl - you could say has been trying to change. I want to prove to myself, my  parents, and God that I can push myself and follow through. I want to be all that I can. Are you asking – well if you are so set on going to college early – what do you want to do? Well- I want to major in whatever it takes to be a forensic scientist. One of those people on CSI or Law and Order who use evidence, and look at DNA and soil and weird details in investigations and be able to help convict a guilty person. Moreso for the fun of learning helping out and for the microscopes and stuff- not just because I want to be noticed. Also, I want to minor in language arts. I want to learn languages – I know english (DUH), learning spanish, and will be learning American Sign Language next year. SO this way, I can be an interpreter and go traveling – and then when I travel ALL OVER THE WORLD I can share my faith in the languages I know!!

Anyways – want to blog more – will get back to you when I remember because I seem to be getting distracted very easily lately – !!

So true

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God

Exausted American Idol chica

Round one!!!

Still haven’t found what I’m looking for – U2 – David C

Perfect from the beginning. He is top two for a reason. Perfect pitch, harmony, balance and rasp in his voice. Mom and I love this song. It fits his personality. He definitly knows he can sing so he doesn’t try too hard, he just has fun with it.

Don’t let the sun go down on me – Elton John – David A

Pure angelic voice. No Flaws!! Every time he sings I goosebumple! LOL his voice is so much older than him! In a good way – it just means he can sing anything he wants and sound brilliant.

They both deserve TO WIN DANGIT!!!!
Might I point out Simon is a pain in the butt?? Oh wait everyone knows that already!! David has such a big heart, and he’s such a soft sweet guy. Humble throughout this whole season.

Round Two!!! New song

David C – Dream big by Emily Shakleton

I wish I had heard this before he sang it. Still amazing!!! Wow. You dreamed big and SOOO got there!! Dad just said that he’s very genuine to the music – its his to share & it means something to him. Mesmerizing & he used his charming personality to achieve his goal of showing his talent.

David A – In this moment
Pure (SHUT UP YOU STUPID FANGIRLS – don’t you realize I am trying to listen to him????)
I love him. Sweet sweet voice, like honey. I could listen to him sing all day. I would let him sing me to sleep, and I would wake up to him on the radio, and yah. He is absolutely wonderful.

Round 3!!! Contestan Choice

David C – The world I know
Aw. He is so multi and modern. He can make any song his. He does so wonderfully behind a guitar too.

(I love it when Simon winks!! So cute. Yes – I’m a simon lover!!)

David A – Imagine by Beatles/John Lennon
Can’t it be AMERICAN IDOLS?? Its terribly hard for me to choose who to vote for!!!!!! Archie has such sincerity full power emotion and wow – there are no words. I can’t help but gawk in awe & just fall more in love with him!!!

(Posted via blackberry sorry if its a bit crazy & sporatic!!)

Anyways – hope you like!!

Post on me blog who think will or who you think should win!!

I’m sorry – I lied – I will talk to you

OK so I do have the patience to say hi to ya’ll. I really didn’t want to post. I don’t know what to post about.

I feel lame. I feel like there is nothing to say. OH WAIT! nevermind. Twas nothing.

Actually , There is something!! I am having a banquet tomorrow evening. I actually have no idea what will happen, and how many people are going EVEN though my mom and a few other parents are the ones putting it together. I do however know of a certain special suprise that no one else really knows about!! *shhh!! but I’m not telling till its over with* Isn’t that exciting? It’s for debate. Yes I Amber am on the speech and debate team – what a wonderful way to express my loquacious social self!! I’m actually not doing it next year, but I’m glad I did it this year. It was a great experience. We have no more tournaments, and now we get to celebrate the wonderful journey that we had with a party. One of my favorite moments and memories, is when we rode a bus for what seemed LIKE HOURS and we ended up going to Walla Walla WA for one of our trips. It was a blast, and one of the best things in my life ever!! We bonded so much and became alot closer. I loved the campus we went to; it was Whitman College that held the tournament

Well anyways – God taught me something today – Guilt only is beneficial when you learn that you must fix it, get over it and move on. Don’t dwell on mistakes and whats happened because all that matters now is what is and what will happen. Let God be the final judge of who you are.

TTYL folks!!  — Don’t forget to comment and swing by Ian’s place for the PARTAY!!

YBT * Am * Supergirl (who is sharing cookies with the outside world – turns out juniors in health class like cookies too!! *Hands everyone ANOTHER cookie* Guess we better start making MORE cookies!! )

See mom

I am way to lazy to post a blog of my own right now – but I have good news, and you have to go here to read it. It’s mama’s blog. Trust me – it’s helpful.

YBT * Amber

Love Him & you will know Him

I have had this overwhelming sense of …. peace. I thought it was me being tired, I thought it was me depressed, I thought it was empty but I figured it out.

I am happy. I am at spot in my life where I have serenity, and I enjoy it. Usually there are about 500 things going on in my head. Things about people, places, things to do, goals, dreams, future, love, life, singing, music, movies, and nonsense were always fluttering my head making it impossible to rest. I couldn’t get to sleep, I couldn’t wake up one day without a headache and I didn’t always feel good. I may not always feel good enough, and I may not always feel like I have friends, but if it’s one thing I know, it’s that God and my family love me. I am good enough for them, and life is good. Live is GOOD.

Blame it on the weather, blame it on the food, or blame it on someone but really – I want to give God credit. I’ve stopped stressing and worrying, and now its like being free. Like He took off the weights and chains in my life, and now I get to enjoy it. I had an ex-boyfriend tell me once that he was jealous of me. I asked him, “Jealous of what?” – his reply “Your serenity. Being at peace with the world, and being calm and serene in life is a blessing that I wish I had”. …. WOW. I never thought about that. I wonder who else sees it, and why I never saw it. I guess I just lived it for so long, I didn’t notice it. Now I do. Now I dwell in this bubble of my own, where nothing can hurt me and I feel constant love from my family around me even when I don’t feel it from others. I love God, and I think this is hiw way of telling me He loves me back. God gives us all different things, and this is one of my gifts. I asked Him to take away my problems and help me out. When I started to help myself, He gave me the extra shove and He’s been helping me through it. Mom has this screensaver that says, “If God brings you to it, He will lead you through it”. It’s an amazing passage. Also, James 1:2 “My brothers and sisters, have joy in the trials that you may face of any kind” is great. I should be thankful that I am ALIVE to experience the problems I do, GOd gave me the gift of breathing, I should thank him for it.

What do you do to relax? Have you talked with God? What have you done to stay at peace?

Take time today to pray for those who’ve hurt you and, bless those you mistreat you. They are just as much of a lost Child of God as we are.

*YBT  *Amber
*Supergirl …. off to make more cookies for this week, then save the world again – I’ve given up on saving the world by eating cookies, I think I shall save the world by making MORE!!

I am not!

We were just outside having a converstion and this is how part of it was:

Dad: “You’re being a litttle argumentative tonight, why?”
Me:”I am not being argumentative!”

Ho hum …. not exactly the perfect way to explain myself now is it?
Just thought I’d share that little bit of conversation we have as a family, at least that which can be understood of it

…….. Isn’t that just insane?

Mom’s version

YCF !!

I just recently joined the YCF – Young Christian Force – that I was talking about. In the words of Araken, It’s just a group of us bloggers/teens who want to spread Jesus over the internet through what we say and write. (Poetry, stories, book and movie reviews and deep thoughts) It all started just by me talking to Bryan Davis, and reading his new book, and sharing insights, and reviews. It’s pretty cool the fun and nice people you meet when you all have God in common!

It’s going to be great, I mean I don’t have to do anything but be the child that God created me to be. I hope you all check back, and tell people about my blog. Let others know about God and His love. If you know me, you know that I love to write about them things when I get on a roll.

 ;)

Anyways….

Thank You

First of all, I want to say thank You to God. Blessings. That’s all I see when I take a look around at the world. I want to say thank you to Bryan Davis. What a wonderful guy, an amazing author, Man of God, who even makes time to blog and email with his fans. He started something that would have never existed had he not been born, and had he not decided to write. He truly amazes me. Also I would like to thank other Byran Davis fans, and those who have commented on my blog. You guys Rock! Some of these people are also part of a group called the YCF – The Young Chrisitan Force, a truly wonderful thing. I love reading their blogs, and I know that I need to get a blog roll up so that I can share them so I will do that with my next couple hours of free time. (*snorts* Like this computer nerd needs to be the laptop even more today)

So I will let you know what I find, who I find and what other books I plan on reading. Also I will post a page of Authors and books I love because …. well because I want to and it’s not like I’m in the mood to be productive, so why not have fun?

*peace*

signing off, this is supergirl – off sending a cookie to Bryan Davis via wordpress & also saving the world

Redirecting you to:

I just posted up over here:

READ ME!!

Smile! TGIF

Another long week. More drama in highschool. More sun. Maybe a fence. More people smiling. – Let me go into what we call the wonders of my complex brain (with inspiration of a wonderful author)

I wonder now if there could be such thing as another dimension. A place that is exactly like our own. Same world, same people, same plans, same things except maybe it’s an alter ego of a person, or different plan. Where each person makes a different choice than their counterpart in another one. Is it possible that maybe out in other galaxies, and other systems/planets that there are timelines that go 1000’s of years back and 100’s of years foward? where there was a world of us in a different time and age – but we didn’t know about it. Would it be possible to visit this place? Would there be a way to communicate with them? Could we switch places with them? Would they die there if we died here? If any of this was possible – would it tear the cosmos apart and bring an end to all creation? Would God allow any of it? What is possible in this day and age of discovery, and growing technology? – Well, Bryan Davis explores this idea and theories in his wonderful book (start of a new series for him) – Echoes from the Edge: Beyond the Reflections Edge. With characters that pop to life, and fine detail in every scene, this book created a mental movie in my brain. Action, love, family, honesty, music, passion, and true musings of what just might exist I would tell anyone to read it. I read it with such intesity I am re-reading again just so that I don’t miss ANY detail! Once again Bryan has completely shocked me. His work incorporates modern thoughts on the fantasy realm, and brings about mysteries in a positive light that if ever true in this world, that it would only ever exist from and because of God. Makes you truly question what is real, what isn’t, and what you can believe in without seeing it because you see it from an acceptable perspective. Bryan always makes me feel ok about my own questions and theories, because it is ok to wonder what I do if I see it from the right angle.

I reccommend ALL of his books because they amaze me (though I can’t admit that I have read every single one of his books – I will however - I will tell you to still read any of them, because anything he does and has written is worth reading because it is his!)

So – tell me what you think. Ask me what things he writes. Ask me what I think about his fantasy books. Ask me who else I reccommend. Ask me what I plan on writing about next. Ask me what I plan on reading next (even though you should already know that since I can’t stop reading Beyond the Reflections Edge). Ask me and I shall answer you the best I know how.

and this is the strange wonders of a complex brain that which lives insides supergirl who is now off to save the world eating one cookie at a time

Everyone

Everyone is entitled to a bad day, a bad hair day, or a “I don’t want to talk to anyone today” mood everyonce in awhile. So today – though it wasn’t one of my best – I found that this song fits what I needed. I tell this to all who hurt, and I also dedicate it to my day.

JOSH GROBAN LYRICS

“You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up)”

Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
When your heart’s heavy
I…I will lift it for you

Don’t give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I…I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved

Don’t give up
It’s just the hurt that you hide
When you’re lost inside
I…I will be there to find you

Don’t give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I…I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
Don’t give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved

No Air

So I’ve fallen in love with the song ‘No Air’ by Jordin Sparks – our one and only beautiful once idol contestant now major hit singer who never ceases to amaze me!! She also has the hit ‘Tattoo’

http://youtube.com/user/JordinSparks

I have been listening to her music all week, and all weekend so far. I plan on continuing to do so.

Have fun, and leave me comments!! I love hearing what you have to say. After all you are strange if you want to read my blog. LOL just kidding. I like it when people read what I have to say – It makes me feel good!

p.s. I managed to spend the time and make some categories!! Have fun with that too, because I still have to go back to previous posts and add the categories to them so more will be added to them as well. Oh, and don’t forget to stop by my ‘She is…’ page because I updated that as well. Feel free to leave a comment on me, or what you see in me.

Fact:

wrote today 05-09-08

Facts:

My world - My own
My bubble – My home
My life – My sight
My heart – My right

The time – The day
The choice – The way

I smile – I laugh
I breathe – I dance

She’ll still love – She’ll still share
She’ll still achieve – She’ll even dare

They are – Mine
It is – now
I do – in life
I will – still

All is done in the end

Wrote this today: 05-09-08

All is done in the end

I’ve learned
I’ve lived
I’ve laughed
I’ve cried
I’ve smiled

In this life
I do -
What else is there?

I’ve met you
Fallen in love
Fallen down
Achieved greatness
Dreamt higher than stars
Slept like a baby
Learned languages

I’ve created
I’ve found
I’ve tried
I’ve danced
I’ve imagined

Does it all matter?
Is there more?
What is forever?
The key to life?

Have I been living what I’ve wanted to know -
All this time?

Yes &
The important thing is that I am alive

American Idol Tonight

ROUND ONE!

1. David Cook – Hungry like the wolf – Duran Duran

Yay!! Amazing! I love this boy. The performance was good but not amazing - it’ll get him to next week but it was forgettable.

2. Syesha – Proud Mary – Tina turner

I’m a bit hesitant with this … but like dad said a minute ago, she’s come a long way since the beginning.
Hm, pretty good. I wouldn’t say I love it, but it’s good. She had a fun lovable performance.

3. Jason Castro – I shot the sheriff – Bob Marley

Wow did he make this fun. Dad was just singing this and then he comes on the telly saying he’s gonna sing it!! We are sitting here in awe. Nice – this was a new refreshment for him.

4. David A – Stand by me -

Haven’t I already told you that he can sing anything? He kicked frikin butt this first round and wow I can tell you this was my favorite performance this evening.

This first round was pretty pathetic but hopefully it picks up!

Can I just say I hate the audience people? I mean – when someone is being paid to critique on American Idol – let them speak, and don’t boo them. Just because they don’t like it doesn’t mean that their words are God. Let the judges speak and also the whole mosh pit waving arms thing has gotta stop – it gets annoying.

I’m ready for round two!!

———————————————————————————–

ROUND TWO!

1. David Cook – Baba o’Riley – The Who

Weirdness, but I like it. I love seeing him play the guitar, that’s his element.  Much better. This is him for shizzle dawg.

 

2. Syesha – Change is dead come – Sam Cook

Yes – you are top four – you must be good – but what is good to me?? Ohhhhh nice dress!!! Taylor Hicks sang this baby. Yes Syesha is good … but I wish I had heard some different things from her. Well this wasn’t my favorite of hers, but she was good. So I feel bad for her that she went to tears – I love the lip gloss by the way. Mind sending me an email of what kind and color it was?

 

3. Jason Castro – Tambourine Man – Bob Dillan

Hm. What’s with the songs? Dad thinks he’s done. Well ok maybe he’s right – but still he’s a good singer. OMG HE FORGOT THE LYRICS. WOW!! That was a big deal just so you know ….. JASON!!! Honey I think you are going home. Sorry bud.

 

4. David A – Love me tender – Elvis Presly

Hm. WOW. I love the purity in his voice. Honey – I think we need to staple your eyes to your forhead because you need to open your eyes wider. I love this song- I just wish he had big puppy dog eyes to fill out the romantic song. I loved how he sang this. Great performance.

-Looked like he was gonna pass out when Simon told him “You CRUSHED the competition”

 

Good round 2! I think Jason Castro is going home – because of the bad things that happened – Guess Bob wasn’t ooking out for you! Sorry! Maybe Syesha but …. I don’t think so.

Who should win – David Cook or David Archuleta    ;)   one of my two future husbands

Do you know-

That which lives in the mind – is amazing, is wonder, is unknown, is complex, and is unseen. Is that good? Is that bad? God sees it – but can you?

There are some days where I feel naked – like I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve, and my thoughts are being displayed on my forehead. Do you know this? Do you see me at my vulnerability? Do you know what I hold deep inside? Those thoughts I hold dear? Do you treat me different when I am like this?

There are days when I feel like no one understands. Like a freak. Like no one has ever been through what I have. I want to hide away, and I don’t want you to see me at all. I want to build up walls and I never want anyone to know what I do – or think of what I do – or hear the things I wonder.

What about you? Do you wonder? Do you care? What do you think? What do you wonder about me?  Do you feel like I do? Do you walk on by without a care? Do you wonder what I’m thinking just as I wonder the same about you? Do you wish you knew what I was thinking? Do you want to know?

I wish I knew what you knew.  Knew what you know about me. I want to know all there is to know – but is that good? Is that enough? When will it stop? Life is thinking. Life is communication, and it never stops.

 I am a brain. I am a heart. I am for I know this.  I want more. I wish there was more. Is there more?

…………. Hummmm I wonder

 

p.s. don’t take any of this personally – and don’t take any comments personally.

P.S.

sssssssssssshhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Don’t tell anyone but ………………

I have a secret!!!!!!

Guess what it is??

It’s ……………… Today is:

Cinco De Mayo!!! The fifth of May!!!

ok. So I’m an idiot. I have no idea what the fifth of May really is all about – but I’m really proud of myself for realizing it was a holiday-ish. Seriously, I have been like *woosh* like the wind and haven’t realized the holidays. Then the days go by when there’s a holiday and I feel real stupid.

About A Poem

So I’m a surfer. Not a wave surfer but a blog surfer. I pop many many tabs open and look at blogs. I read – I laugh – I cry and I’m addicted. Anyways – I came across this amazing blog full of poems. Then it lead me here to the main blog then I found a certain poem that made my life – go wow. This is my response and my feelings about this poem I found.

I’ve tried to let go
Love is a hard thing to vow and then say never existed
Love is to strong and holds on even when you let go
Love is who we are – it never dies even when a lover takes our heart beat
Love is never forgotten forgiven or gone

Don’t try to not love – it’s impossible