Quick reminder

Ok so I gotta remind myself of the new years TO-DO’s that I made for myself:

-Learn to take my parents advice [like I should have about 10 years ago]
-Learn how to say no to people [I hate being a pushover - it sucks, believe me]
-Pay more attention to myself and my health and my happyness [time to stop worrying about other people's lives]
-Take a picture a day [there's gotta be something interesting in this boring life to capture right?]
-Create myself [life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself]
-Push myself out of my comfort zone & gain the confidence that I need [I want to be someone so maybe it's time to grow up and learn life]
-Don’t put myself down and think negative things about myself [not everything is my fault right?]
-Give people the benefit of the doubt


…… now if only I could remind myself of these things daily ….

Fly like an eagle

So this tournament. …. can I sum it up into one word? hmmmm maybe!! yes

Passion!!!

Love!!!

Happy!!!
(ok so really thats three words …. but you get my point.)

I loved it!! It was our eagle tournament. It was amazing. I was calm. Not nervous. At peace. You know … my non-typical behavior? Nice huh? I partnered with one of my fave debate girls (peace and love Tattie) , and we had a ball! It was two days, I missed my last class on Friday so that we could make it to Eagle in time. We debated 5 rounds, we won 1:4. Still good! I also did 3 extemporaneous speaking rounds. I got 4th out of 4 speakers, but I got an 8 score on a scale from 1-10 (10 being exeedingly great) and OMG that was amazingly fun and weird!! Every time I came back from a speech round, or a debate round, it felt wonderful and like it got easier every time. I’m so proud of myself I actually let go . I didn’t worry about winning, but I still cared. I had some awesome sings uploaded on my phone so we jammed. we got t-pain with low, and another song I think its baby bash with cyclone, and party like a rockstar jammin with us down the hallway between events. We was dancin in the elevator. We was dancing in the common room, and we was dancing on the bus. It was a party for the nerds baby! LOL. It was just so great, reminded me why I took debate and fell in love with it in the first place.

Strange, there was a lot that I was going to say now I can’t remember.
Hmmm oh!!! Well mama and I just made vanilla-cinnamon-pumpkin muffins & bread. Mmmm they are going to be so good!

Anyways … I should probably get ready for bed. Maybe … on of my girlfriends called, said she thinks tomorrow is going to be a STUPID snow day. I love school, and quite frankly it’s already thrown classes behind … SNOW!! Grrr I hate it!!! MUST KILL WEATHER man!! Heh … I mean ….
I love [hate] snow ^_^

I has Pix

here’s some updated pictures:

me and Dommy



Me playing with the camera! (wow – i love the outcome of this … i even photoshoped with it)

I call this – unsupervised girl with a camera … LOL

Brr Chiiiillly

Good Morning Sunshine – the World Says Hello! ( no, I’m not a morning person, however I am awake now. and when I’m awake I try to be positive.)

Gah!! omg SNOW SNOW SNOW – It’s sooo cooooold!!!!
….. We haven’t had this much dang snow in a long time. It’s fun and depressing all at the same time. makes me want to go kill frosty, but jump and catch snoflakes on my tongue. We had a snow day for all school districts yesterday! yay! nthe sad part is that the roads are sooooo terrible and icy. there was a wreck the other night, where a pregnant mom of 6 in a SUV smashed with a semi. It was fatal for her, fortunatly they did a c-section on her and the baby survived and is now in the NICU (the last i heard). It’s so sad. I just hope that i can go back to school and none of my friends have gotten into accidents.

Now i get to go back to school. and enjoy that moment. I’m actually sick right now, but s’all good because I’m sure its just the weather. I should get over it soon.

OH!! I went to a tournament this weekend. It was a blast, and I so wish I had enough time to share. I am going to blog when I get home – don’t worry. I need to update anyways ….

xo world

Don’t stop me

Things I would like to do before I die ….. updated

Scrapbook my time capsule after I get it back my senior year

Not physically beat on an object when it won’t respond to my screaming [hmm for some reason in-animate objects don't like to talk]

See all of the movie ‘Titanic’ and read Moby Dick [apparently everyone needs to]

Spend more time with all my [& extended] family

Learn patience I desperatly need

Get married [have a bajillion kids please]

Go shopping in New York

Visit Eiffel Tower, and Statue of Liberty

Become the PRESIDENT BABY!!!

Be in four places at once [it's possible!!]

Dare to be spontaneous or a crazy stunt [can I do it?]
- Bungee jump baby! Or dive out of an airplane?

Learn some winter sports
- Ski or Snowboard for me?

Travel out of the Country (to take pictures and enjoy mother earth of course)
- Spain, Paris, Canada, All over the UK, Japan, Australia, Iceland, Germany, Russia, Africa and definitely more to come!

Go on a cruise
- Maybe Bahamas or Ecuador

Write and publish a book (preferably autobiography)

Meet someone famous (preferably an actor or film director)
- I’m thinking Stephen Spielberg, or Al Pacino – Anthony Hopkins

Ride in a Limo

Ride in a taxi

Go streaking

Get a bachelors degree in college
- Majors? : Law, Drama, Fashion, Language

Create my own business of some sorts

Don’t "wish" – Make it happen!

[This is one of my favorite Blogs that I have - had to repost a recent and updated one]

We all wish right? Ever wished you could change things? Maybe make things go your way?
JUST WISH THERE WAS CHANGE, AND YOU COULD DO IT?

Then I won’t look like a complete idiot when I say that I wish I wasn’t afraid of conflict. I wish I could look people in the eye and tell them HOW I FEEL. Be honest, and be willing to loose a friendship, a relationship, or anything just to be confident. Show that I am honest, and I will say what I think as long as it is respectful. I wish I could learn how to say “no” properly to people when I need to. I wish people could sometimes read my mind so that they knew what I was thinking. [ah scary thought] I wish I could do whatever I wanted without consequences. I wish I had something to blame for everything. I wish I had more common sense. I wish I could find someone to confide in with everything that could talk back when I needed it. I know God does, however not that way I wish He would answer me back. I wish I could ask God a couple questions. I wish I could hunt down the devil and KILL him(don’t we all?). I wish I was invincible. I wish that I couldn’t die. I wish that everyone I loved was here with me all the time. I wish I could tell people and have them understand who I am and why I think what I do.

I wish on everything and nothing, because I know it won’t come true.

I know wishing gets you nowhere. I think that’s why I do it. Just to know that there is something that I don’t have control over. Something to tell me that it’s all up to me, to make it happen. That it isn’t luck, or fate or destiny. It’s God, it’s me, it’s you, it’s NOT something that doesn’t exist like [fantasy, or WISHES]

[wish doesn't even sound like a word anymore now that I have typed it and said it about 6432 times in my head, so why not wish that it sounded like a word again? or maybe wish that everything all made sense?]

I wish that wishes would come true, so that I could wish that there was no such thing as wishing at all. Then it would just be a nothing. The word wish would not exist till some idiot made it up again and decided to go to webster and make it a stupid lame word.

Little Bubble of Sunshine

You know that things are up when people to come to school sad, tired or depressed. Oh wait!! That’s typical highschool teenage behavior. OH, why thank you fellow peers and friends, thanks for giving me a welcome, loving fun, and enjoyable educational experience.

Even when I come to school feeling like that, I try to be positive for other people. Some people make me smile when I see them, some people even make me laugh without saying a word. Now suck it up and try that for one day. Is it so hard to just re-enforce frikkin PMA [positive mental attitude] to yourself, and me?

Am I the only bubble of sunshine around? If so, don’t touch me, I will not let you pop me! Why do I feel like the only one who smiles in the morning? The only one who seems to be happy to see their friends? The only one who seems to be alive and trying to make the best of another day INSTEAD OF dwelling on mahproblems, complaining and doing nothing to make it better? Why is it so hard to let things go one day and just let life skate by you and not WORRY about it? I don’t understand, I have my down days but there is always something to pick me up or pull me up whether it’s a friend or a parent.

SMILE GODANGIT [or I will have to use this ducktape and trust me, you really don't want me near you with tape]

[omg I just looked out the window, and realized its not snowing - THANK you God!]

I know that my friends know how to fix their “issues” [they are smart] but they don’t want to do it that way. So they come to me, or their other friends who have no idea expecting some great buddha answer. I have news for you, one: your “issues” will be bigger one day, and two: YOUR PARENTS [omg who wuddathunkit?!] know more than your little teenage friends whether or not you want to believe it!!

But since I just can’t reason with my oh so sweet, precious friends I have to sit back and be patient and hope they get it one day. Also it’s hard, because I want to fix things when they aren’t going good, I have to realize that they are the only ones who can fix it.

When you do this, I’m sure you just want someone to listen to you. You want an answer, but I have news for you, mommy and daddy really are the only ones who WILL ALWAYS be on your side no matter what life brings you. When this happens, come to me so I can welcome you to the family.

Because I still love you, I always will, this is me, I love everyone and everything [well except for dead bodies and brussel sprouts] – I just need you to know that you need to love life and yourself before you start to worry about it.

Love to Learn

OMG!!!!!! It’s Sunday!! I go back to school tomorrow!!! I am so excited, I mean I love school. Never thought you would hear that from a teenager right? I’m just not your average teen …. ^_^ I love to learn – seriously. I love my classes, my teachers, my friends, hanging out, and tormenting the staff about the no purse rule by carrying mine around. LOL

It’s a new year, and people change, and it’s fun to have finals. Oh lol yah finals. Then a NEW semester!! New classess, new teachers, and maybe just maybe new friends to make!!

I love it I really do. I loved my Christmas break and everything but school is my home away from away. It’s my place, and I keep dreaming about it. What does that tell you?

*sighs* I just love school ….

ummmm I was going to say something else that was normal …..
hm must have forgot

Esa chica bonita es yo – That beautiful girl is me

I think something has changed
Something has happened to me
Like I have become someone new
She’s seems to be a lot like me
She listens, laughs, learns and loves
She cries, smiles and screams
She’s Blunt, honest, flirtatious, funny
Although her emotions tend to get the best of her
The bubbly personality is addicting
Sometimes she hides behind books
Her innocent blue eyes hold every kind of look
She’d drop everything for you
She would never judge, reject or hurt anyone intentionally
She will change for no one
Happy with who she is
She has learned to protect herself
From hurting and feeling pain
And more to protect others from harm and from her
She wants love and acceptance
Experience, opportunity, and excitement
No rules, no limits, nothing to hold her down
Let her have it, just like you have yours
Everyone is entitled to their life
She wants you to care about her
Just don’t expect so much of her
Because she has so many to love and care about
Her heart immeasurable to any comparison
She has so much love and compassion to offer
Take it if she gives it because she means it

She pushes on day by day
Lives with her past of mistakes learned from
Living a life of no regrets
Living the moment, living for her forever
Fearing nothing she will live like there’s no tomorrow

This new self-consciousness is real
That girl smiling, it’s my smile
I am no longer just looking in the mirror
This is not just a new girl
It is me

Laughing with Luchica

So last night I had one of my [adorable sweet] friends stay the night. Lucia, which I call Luchica because she is my chica. LOL It was so nice to catch up with her. We both talk and talk and talk so of course, even thought the parents told us to go to bed at an acceptable time, we ended up finishing our movie at 2 am. Well then we went to actual sleep at about 5:30 am-ish. Nice, I know. It was so great to see her smile and laugh. We don’t go to the same school anymore but I still feel close to her. She is my little bubble of sunshine! What can I say? She is my luchica. She always makes me feel better, no matter how I am already feeling. I love her to death, she is my sister.

ummmmm there was stuff I wanted to say a minute ago but I lost my train of thought – dad has the tv on Discovery channel. a show called taboo is on. it’s about different [hahahaha i just figured out that i somehow have my fingers trained that whenever i type "n" and "t" that it must be a contraction so i keep spelling different like this: differen't] cultures and what is beautiful, and what is the art of a tribe. oh and what tattoos represent, what they mean to people, or how they can tell atory about someone.

there was just a tribe of women [Tufi women in pacoa new guinea ?spelling?] and how they tattoo their faces. it really is pretty. the things that we do in america, like get tattoos, wear makeup, wear such revealing clothes are so different from other places. Countries all around the world do weird stuff, but they are still beautiful. I know about some women in a tribe that wear rings around their necks to elongate them, another tribe who make cuts that heal and re-open them to create bump like tattoos, tribes that gage theirs ears to put plate like things in them. Some of us would never do that here because sometimes it doesn’t seem socially acceptable, or it isn’t pretty. But the truth is everything is pretty in somebody’s eyes, even if it isn’t yours.

I believe that yes our body, is temple of God, and we are to respect it. If someone wants a tattoo it is their free will, and more power to you if you are putting a christian symbol on it. Or a cross, or something that is nice.

anyways – i still can’t remember what i was going to say when I sat down …

oh oh oh!!!! MOOOOOOOOOOM!!! I read ALL your blogs! HA! So there!! I just haven’t commented yet.

!!!! Oh, and sorry to say, that the *coughs* “New Year’s resolution” to take a picture a day isn’t working over so well, but if you haven’t noticed, I will point out that I DO HOWEVER have a blog a day since January 1st !!!!!!!!!!!! lol

Poof goes it

Ok so I guess I slept well last night. I woke up with like this bubble in my brain, and the minute my eyes fluttered open – it went *POP!* …. crazy I know.
oh and I must have been really out of it because I slept through the furry alarm clocks. You know, those things that run and jump and attack my face in slobber? The fuzzy faces that tickle first thing in the morning – not always funny. Specially when you wanna sleep. The cuteest thing is that Humphrey Bogart [the oldest of the two] always comes up and finds a spot to cuddle with me. He eventually falls asleep right next to me – it’s cute. I just have to turn around and I see this cute puppy face snuggling up to my own. Sometimes he tries to put his head on the pillow too.

Omg – so I went to the salon yesterday! I got my hair done! I finally have that blonde and orange hi-light look I have always wanted. It’s super cute! Now its kinda sad because my hair isn’t as long as I wish it were, but I do love my short hair. I wanted it bad, so now I am growing it out to get the long look again.

Anyways. One of my friends gets his wisdom teeth pulled out this morning. Poor guy – I remember the ugh and the grr I went through when I had mine pulled. He wanted me to come over today – but that depends on if he is awake, and not grumpy. LOL I feel bad for him – so mom and I are putting something together for him while he is down. it’s a basket of pudding, jello and soft fruit for him to eat. LOL it’s actually quite funny … Oh – and he says that he is going to go back to school. Oh boy – yah like he will want to it will suck to hurt and have to pay attention in class ….

ummmmmmmmm yah the litle brothers are crying for me to play with them – but sadly I am in the middle of blogging and doing homework [ewwww] oh and watching the Today Show ….. [Britney Spears = STILL CRAZY, literally because she got wheeled away in an ambulance laughing hysterically and she will get her visitation rights all taken from her. yah sucks to be her. .... poor girl she needs to find her brain. I actually feel bad for her. Being a celebrity, rich and famous just wears hard on someone.]

anyways … now I am working on ….. Oh yah … that one thing …. about a movie that came out, why I love it and why it was such a big hit, and what it means to my generation. yay more stuff about Harry Potter. I know I could have chosen other things to write about, but sue me because I like Harry. It’s one of my favorites. Have all the books, read them all (some 2x, some 3x, some 4x) and al the movies that are currently out. I love it, so of course I am going to write about it. The order of the Phoenix isn’t my favorite movie right now, but I gotta admit they did a dang good job on this one.

anyways got the homework done, got myself out of my pajamas [they were soo comfy!] and now mama and I are headed over to my friends house. he hasn’t replied back to me on instant messenger, so hopefully he just walked away from the computer and isn’t asleep. well atually sleep would be a good thing for him right now probably.

Sometimes

sometimes
I forget that I am mortal
I want to believe that I will be here forever
That I will never leave anybody

I want to live forever
I want to know the secret to life
See my great great grandchildren be someone
Know that I still live among the future
I want to be happy forever
I want to see everything, do everything

But I don’t think that will happen
My great grandma isn’t here
I won’t be here one day
Hitler died, so did Albert Einstein
Who’s to say I won’t?

Everyone will go one day
But they will still exist
You can still live, it’s not the same though
Our spirits live on while our bodies die
Because I can still feel people living on around me

sometimes
I don’t think about what I should
I don’t hold on to people long enough
I don’t do what I want
I don’t listen when I should
I don’t care enough
and then I realize it’s my only chance
to do what i didn’t do last time
because I may not live to see tomorrow
so while I live for my forever
since I can’t live like there’s no death

I want to live like there’s no tomorrow

If it is inevitable, then why fear it?
Let the unknown be known

Just one more thing to do

Did YOU make a new years resolution? [that you will actually make a REAL commitment to?]

Ha. I didn’t. Ok- fine, I just haven’t yet,not officially anyways. [I dreamt about them last night actually] I really just didn’t want to think about it. Too much thinking hurts my head sometimes.

Being as we are the Taylors, we ended up inviting people over at last minute. Yah – and guess what? People actually came!
Well we had alot of food, alot of caffiene and not much to do. We sat around and played UNO and mindtrap [I think that's what its called]
Then we watched the minutes go ticking and before you know it we had 11 people outside making noise with noise makers and then Dad got his trumpet out and decided that he wanted to play whatchamacallit song which was pretty. We also ran out back so that we could see all the pretty fireworks that the 2 people in the city bought. [just kidding, other people bought them too but they bought the cheesy ones that we couldn't see. I like the big bangs and the ones that go up in the air]
Then people went home and we were left to clean. Whoo hoo. It’s 2008 and the first thing I get started on is stinking cleaning! Well, I mean I did actually volunteer to do it [being as though I am the only child in the house with two thumbs] didn’t I?
I ate some chocolate, painted my nails and went to sleep at about 3 am.
pretty boring yet also very fun New Years Eve Party.
[I'm sorry, I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure]

Ok so the new years resolutions that I think I might actually follow:
-Learn to take my parents advice [like I should have about 10 years ago]
-Learn how to say no to people [I hate being a pushover - it sucks, believe me]
-Pay more attention to myself and my health and my happyness [time to stop worrying about other people's lives]
-Take a picture a day [there's gotta be something interesting in this boring life to capture right?]
-Create myself [life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself]
-Push myself out of my comfort zone & gain the confidence that I need [I want to be someone so maybe it's time to grow up and learn life]
-Don’t put myself down and think negative things about myself [not everything is my fault right?]
-Give people the benefit of the doubt [i'm sure the world isn't out to get me, just the government]

Anyways, I’m sure that more will come to me soon