Live Laugh and Learn

I’m a teenager. I am learning just as much as you. Teenagers are in the spot of not wanting to learn because they think they know it all.

I am one of them. I sometimes think I know it all. I feel like telling someone to shut up because I can figure it out on my own. I think adults or parents don’t understand what I’m going through when I’m having a rough day.

I’m learning. I’m learning how people are, how to accept peoples’ differences, (not tolerance) how to be a better person, when my conscience is talking to me, when I’m dramatic, when I should fix things, to not let my life revolve around others but to not be selfish. I am learning a lot, and it’s fun. Sometimes it isn’t but I try to make the best of everything as much as possible. I look at almost everything as a learning experience, or a test, or just a fun addition to life to live.

It’s amazing that I have been able to get to this point where I feel this way, and how I think. It’s a point of revelation. It’s my life. It’s my purpose, and I love it.

If all God wanted me to do with my life is learn I’d be ok with that because I enjoy that. I will learn how to be taught by different people and different ways. However I know God has bigger and better plans for me in my future than this here. He wouldn’t have given me this opportunity to be where I am and know what I know for nothing. Its very relaxing to think what I think.

I am my own buddha, I have found my own enlightenment, however it has nothing to do with “Nirvana” or being a god or me being a savior. It’s finding some sort of inner peace and finding that I control my life and my happiness myself. (Strange how I type in buddha and it wants to capitalize it, and the letter “I” automatically capitalizes itself, but when I type in God I have to make the capital “G” myself. Even computers think God is below them. Another thing that proves that we are selfish and rude, we just make computers for it to be rude for those who don’t believe in God.)

There’s more to write about later. I am not finished I wanted to publish this ASAP. So here you go.

Live Laugh & Learn
AKA
…. My new Motto!!

Thanks Logical

Ok here’s the damage – even though it’s really not damage.

Nothing is wrong with other parents. I do however believe that parents really should be more like mine.

I love that they know different stuff and more stuff than me (right now at least). It really is helpful to have mature people who have experienced what you have be there for you. It’s not just my parents’ advice its my oldest friends telling me what will work what might not and where they have been. It’s the truth. Yesterday if I had just…. thought more like them I wouldn’t have been there typing with tear-stained cheeks.

Maybe then there wouldn’t be so much dramatic teens just as well. So yesterday I was fine, and then lunch came. I know, I know. You’re probably thinking, “Now she has something or someone to blame for this whole change. She’s going to blame her bad day on someone/something that could have been fixed if she hadn’t been such a teenager.”

You’re right. Wait; don’t smile yet because I said you were right. To some extent you are.

I made my day get worse. My own vanity, ego, insecurities and jealousy made me go from positive to negative. You don’t think your own worst enemy is yourself until you come to one of these situations and revelations because then you truly understand it. (I wouldn’t believe that I was the one letting this happen.) I let myself get jealous of my OWN friends and wallowed in self pity all because I wasn’t in on the fun. I did it too myself on purpose. I can’t believe I have allowed to myself to do that too myself.

I have come to realize I created my own drama because I am a selfish teenage girl. But that’s part of my life. I will have that forever, its what I do with it, how I handle it, and being able to control it.

I am in control of myself and my happiness. Not you, not them not the devil. Me.

Now it is to the logic and smarts of my parents that I have come to this. This is one of the many reasons why I thank the two people who raise me, love me, shelter me, and teach me.

Nothing is wrong with other parents. I do however believe that parents really should be more like mine, because of who I am, what I think, where I am and how I look at things. I think that maybe other teens would like to experience what I am and have been able to if they haven’t or aren’t right now.

I know I don’t say it much or often enough and when you deserve it but always know that my heart says it everyday whether or not I verbally express it. Thanks mom and dad.

Her Firsts

I don’t remember my first baby steps. I don’t remember my first words. I don’t remember my first kidegarten friends. I don’t remember alot of my firsts, but that’s ok. God knew there was more important things to remember. I’m sure most of those got scrapbooked anyways. ^_^ I will remember today as long as I can. ( for the rest of my life I hope)

I’M A SOPHMORE baby!

Only one small problem.
Amber went to her B day second class WHEN she was SUPPOSED to be at her A day second class. Yah. So I missed Spanish II because I was in the wrong class (which was english). Stupid much? lol I’m over it, but it was embarassing! I actually went to the teacher and said, “I’m sorry, I’m actually not in your class! Thanks though!” She’s very pretty too. I got the rest of my day down pretty good. The other sad part of my day was that it took me awhile to find my biology class. I got there in time though. No worries.

I didn’t go to my locker. Bad? I don’t know if I share it yet either. I”m scared to go look….. Should I check tomorrow? Urgh. I dont know if I want to.
I will. Thanks for listening to me. I love your support. Because you have convinced me, I will do it! YAY!

I’m so excited to be with my friends, and be around such a fun school. This year will be so fun! I know people, I love my teachers, ( I got the BEST ones also! YAY!) and I love to learn so I love my classes already. It’s so nice to be somewhere (other than my home) where I feel comfortable and happy.

In all reality my first real day is tomorrow. I have made tuesday (well atleast tomorrow) sexy pants day. Strange name I came up with I know, but hey it works. Must wear cute pants tomorrow for the fun of it! (Hey I thought of it somehow- and for some reason it stuck!)

I had a good bus ride home. Kinda long but was fun. Talked to my neighbor. She’s nice, and a senior will be sad to see her go after this year. I’m happy for her though!
As we walked around and turned the corner to my street we heard this LOUD HOWL come from my house. MY windows. MY brothers. You could tell it was my house. Haha nice huh? My baby puppies were SO excited to see me! It was so cute, and I was so happy to see them. Their heads we in the window and they were barking, and squealing, it was so precious. They were so excited to see their sissy.

Now one is laying down by me while the other demolishes his bed.

I need food, sleep and my soap opera. Days Of Our Lives better be on again! I have missed like 3 weeks of it. I wonder who died, and who came back to life? Haha.

Scary though that I’m driving now AND I’m in highschool huh?

@–>–> *supergirl*

Carpe Noctem

Exactly what it says: Seize the Night!

That’s what I just got to do! Mama and G took me out driving in the Expedition! It was so fun!

Ok short but hey, I had to tell someone!!

I has a permit

OMG!!!!!!

I did it!! I got my permit! I’m so excited. This is really cool to know I could hop in the car at any moment and just drive! Well – with a parent. They are handling this really well I might add. LOL I’m impressed.

Well not much to do or say now except for the fact that I start school in less than two days!

^_^ I’m so happy!

Love … & more

This was written back to my friends blog post on his blog and I thought I would share it because it is insight as to what I feel on the subject. Like I said I was writing to him, so I just left it the way it is, like I am talking to someone. There are some things I have changed.

Friend’s Post

Yes. Love is taken for granted alot, and the word is misused. life is about love but it’s not all meant to be dramatic. Its about having love for people and everything else in life.

I have been told when you truly love someone it will be different from anything in your life. It won’t be obsessive, it will be passionate. It will be like no other thing we have ever felt, and it will never be the same as someone else’s feelings. We aren’t ever going to completely agree with other people on love, which is the beauty of having it.

I’m not saying Love isn’t not real, because it is. I’m also saying there are different levels of it, and we all experience each level differently. It’s all in our minds and hearts and with each day we define it ourselves when we feel that something.

I believe that you and I are just too young to actually know a deep level of love that we claim we have known, want to know or currently do have.You and I and everyone else just need to live life and let things come up. Be surprised, and love someone in life, not be in love WITH love.

God wouldn’t have let us have feelings if he didn’t intend on them being real.

Don’t dwell on not being in love, or if it’s real this time around, because Life has more to offer than just love. Like laughter, smiles, friends, music, family, and more.

TGIF

Ok then. 2 more days of waiting for school. Because today doesn’t count, and Monday doesn’t count because it is the first day of school. All reality though, 3 more days of waiting, because Monday is a half day so it wont be a full day of school. Oh and then we only have a 3 1/2 day week because no school on Friday 31st. The first week of school is always the best!

I’m taking my camera on Tuesday so I can get pictures with all my friends again just like I did on the last day of school last year. Yesterday I said it felt like yesterday was when I was excited for summer, and now it feels like yesterday was the first day of my frosh year and I was nervous to be a freshman!

One of my friends says im too excited, but….. I don’t think so!!

Ok, well now I have to go shower, get ready and stuff because I have to do a drivers ed poster for tomorrow. OMG hopefully I get my permit tomorrow!! eek!! YAY!

Oh and I need to put my binders together even though I wont need them til after next week. The first week of school we barely do anything, but it will be nice to have it all together!!

Wow

With this blog really I’m telling the world about me and what I am doing. But it doesnt matter because there is a handful of people (friends/family) that actually know me who read this, so I’m not letting the others know where I live or giving out PERSONAL information.

In a couple days (4 days to be exact) I start school!! Oh boy does it feel like just yesterday I was excited for summer to start! Well honestly, I have been waiting for school. Counting down for about 2 months. I get to see all my friends, get back to my classess, meet new people, meet new teachers, have my debate class (YAY!), and lunch baby!! Oh the fun!

Now that I have new hair, (oh and new pants LOL) a new outlook on life, a family of friends, and more things figured out, I am home. I feel comfy with my school and my life knowing that nothing will tear me apart from it. Nothing can happen that will make me negative about it, and nothing can ruin this year for me.

estoy muy ocupado

Orh my gosh
Busy anyone?

We have had drivers ed, debate camp, tutoring and now I’m guessing tonight we go to the extreme homemakeover edition peoples’ house.

Ok, drivers ed. So far i have like a couple more days left of driving in class, then we take his test, and then I get my permit. Yay fun!

Then debate camp was monday thru friday this week. *cries* that means I only have like today and tomorrow left. I have to wait a WHOLE nother week to see everyone. I love camp. We are learning so much about arguments, speechs, and teamwork. We are doing trust exercises and building our team and it is just so fun getting to know everyone. There’s 7 people in novice debate with me right now but I’m guessing there will be more when school starts. The varsity debaters and other people are so funny and really nice to be around. There’s two guys that are just hysterical. We all came up with these really fun nicknames to remember everyone’s name. we add an adjective to the beginning of our name. *sigh* yes, I would be “Random” me. that’s how everyone knows me.

So anyways I will update you more when I have the time. Probably means tonight.
@->–> *super*girl*

So far right now–

So not much now. Just drivers ed, tutoring, debate camp and my summer. busy? yes a little. but definitly worth it.

I can tell you it has been a very very long summer already.

I went to california, that was a blast! I so wanna go again. It was beautiful, different, and you can make U-turns! Ha! That’s great!

I got my hair cut. Short, (sassy, mama says) and it isn’t brown. It is a majority of dark red, with big chunks of bleach blonde hi-lites.

I went to a concert, the Martina McBride concert. That was the BEST concert (the best Jerry, the best!) I have evern gone to. I loved every minute of it. Little big town was there. Oh it was just awesome. I got a T-shirt and mama got to shake (“Pig Pen”/”Foz”) the Bass player of Little Big Town’s hand because he was standing RIGHT in fron of us. We had the best seats I oculd have ever asked for. We were kind of on the floor but we were still on bleacher things.
We were in the bathroom, and a lady complimented me on my hair. And then this drunk lady also said my hair was cute.

Drivers ed. Okay one word= FUN!! I love it. I am driving. Actually legally driving. I have so far gone in neighborhoods and been on the connector and downtown. I have parked straight, diagonally, and PARALLEL!!! So as you can tell I have been busy, and no wonder if I get nerves right? Well i get them all the time even though my mental state of mind is perfectly calm and happy with it. Lets see, OH YAH! I only ran ONE stop sign. ACCIDENT people!! My driving partner is the one who ran 3! I am so excited to be driving, and I can’t wait to get my licensce and drive to school! YAY!

Speaking of! School! Yay! A sophmore baby! Heck yes, I have been waiting for this! Well – just as much as the next teen. I can’t wait to see all my friends, meet all my new teachers, and I get to do spanish 2 with one of the coolest teachers too! This is going to be a good year! I just know it.

Well I think my famliy wants to go to sleep. I say that because I am in the ‘rents room typing because I lack my laptop still. So i will leave them to go to bed, even though none of us can sleep. Like usual.

duermen buenos!!

I’ll wait

This was on 7-!4-07 when we were going to the extreme makeover home edition house. this was actually a morning after!

So I managed to get some sleep during Devil’s Advocate. Yah baby, Al Pacino and Keanu Reeves! Good movie, good thing I have seen it before that means I didn’t miss anything. I slept from 8:30 to about 10 so I hope that helps me.

This morning during my music video channel surfing I was going back and forth from todays hits to the 80’s. One song in particular stuck in my head. Elliott Yamin – Wait for You. It is a very cute, sweet, perfect love song only to remind me that I am 15 and have to wait for my love life later on really. I mean God let me have revelations about the boys in my life and show me that I have a future ahead of me but I finally figured two really important factors to only be stopped in my tracks. I can’t do anything about these revelations because I am young and shouldn’t be worrying about it. Thanks.

Well then. My point. So the song has been helping me relax. I have been listening to it on youtube over and over hoping to fall asleep to it. Usually helps and I wake up in a beautiful dream. But not this time sadly.

I think if I just let you all know I will feel better about some things right now. I will wait. I will wait for my future. I will wait for sleep. I will wait and I hope I will learn patience. Pray for me that I do not kill anyone (just kidding) for lack of patience.